This is a transcript for the twenty-first episode of the first season of Space Goofs.


(In the Aliens' House's Kitchen, Candy (humming) was cooking some alkaloid pies in the oven for Gorgious with his oven mitten along with Etno, patiently sitting on the chair.)

Candy: (looking on his watch) Gorgious should be here any second now. Ah. (his face from calm to shockingly concerned) That's strange. The smell of freshly baked alkaloid pies usually attracts Gorgious within seconds. (rushing towards Etno, reading a research study) Etno, what's with Gorgious!? He has been locked in his room for weeks now. I thought for sure these pies would bring him out.

Etno: (eyeing on Candy, concerned) Hmm, I hadn't noticed. Perhaps you should investigate.

Candy: Yes, I think I will. (walking off, but at the Living Room, Bud is asleep watching T.V. (snoring) and Stereo is playing chess, and also, Candy asks both of them that they had seen Gorgious in his room.) Hey, guys, have you seen Gorgious? I'm doing an investigation. He's locked in his room again, doing who knows what, (turning his face from worried to sadly) and he doesn't even want my pie anymore.

Stereo #1: Nope.

Stereo #2: We haven't seen him since he came out and ate...

Stereo #1: ...the remote control last week.

Stereo #2: He went right back into his room.

Candy: (taking a stand, seriously) Well, I'm going to find out what he's doing even if I have to bake a thousand pies. (With Bud still sleeping and Stereo looking at each other, Candy walks off to find Gorgious locked in his room, but before that, he sings "The Alkaloid Pies" song, baking some of them in the oven with his oven mitten. Also, with the pies' fresh steam coming out of Gorgious' room with him looking at them, he smells them with his nose, grabs them from the table and rushes back, leaving Candy, concerned.)

Alkaloid pies
Yummy, yummy
For your tummy
Yummy, yummy
Alkaloid pies
Yum, yum, yummy
Alkaloid pies
Yum, yum, yummy
Love those Alkaloid pies.

Huh? (seriously and sternly) I have had just about enough of his behavior, Etno! What are you doing to do about it?

Etno: (concerned) Gorgious's recent behavior has all the ear marks in extremely anti-social personality. (putting his finger up) We must put a stop into it now. It is time to end his domain. Come, Candy. (rushes from his chair and knocks Gorgious' door with his fist, seriously) Come out of there, young man!

Gorgious: (grumpily and angrily) Go away!

Etno: Gorgious, open this door immediately! (Etno uses Bud's head to open the door and Gorgious' eyes were popping to see the gang his artwork in confusion.)

Gorgious: (sarcastically) Why, hello, fellas. (from sarcastic to happy) What brings you to my humble abode? Why, this gives me the wonderful opportunity to show you my latest pieces. (He shows the gang of a painting that has six yellow and dark blue triangles, a sky-blue arch and a dark blue circle in the middle.) Voila!

Bud: (happily with his heart-shaped irises) Wow, that's really something! (confused) D'oh, what is it?

Etno: Are you sure you're feeling all right my boy?

Gorgious: I never felt better, (jumping up and down) since I've discovered, (from excited to statue-likely surprised) art.

Bud: Eh, what is art, Gorgious?

Gorgious: (explaining to Bud) Well, according to famous art critic, Vladimir Zakarov, art is something that humans do as a means of self expression. (lowering his nose) Detailed in principal format. (doing various poses) Extent in an interpretive ecstatic for personal fulfillment. And besides, a painting sold for $8,000,000 last week.

Etno: Now, let me get this straight. You actually think you're going to sell that, art for millions? I think you had made a slight miscalculation, Gorgious.

Gorgious: (getting serious on Etno) But this is art! (closing his eyes) And I am a great artist. (The rest of the gang laughs at Gorgious' art discussion and his face starts to frown.)

(The scene starts next when Gorgious is doing another painting (with his eye closed and eye open and his tongue sticking out), the alarm has sounded exactly seven times and rushes off into the Living Room along with the Gang, watching the footage when Vladimir Zakarov (his silhouette) opens the door, looking for some artwork which Gorgious is doing.) New tenant, huh?

Stereo #1: (off, background) Yeah.

Etno: Zoom in, Bud. Let's get a closer look at him. (The security camera moves from right to left seeing Zakarov walking down the hall (shown on television).)

Gorgious: Wow! I don't believe it! (his eyes popping in surprise) That's him! (pointing the T.V.) That's Vladimir Zakarov, famous art critic! (The gang were not interested and he points his finger to him, seriously.) You pheasants may not appreciate my art, (his eye closed) but Zakarov, famous art critic will, and he will! (He got an idea and also takes some paintings and hides in a red-purple stripe snake like portrait, dashing down and opening the secret door and put six art pieces in two seconds and whistles to call on the art critic and shuts the door.)

Vladimir: (sleeping and now waking up, surprised and amazed) Hmm? (walking off)

Gorgious: (seriously) Yes! He's taking the bait!

Vladimir: (taking a peek through Gorgious' door and sees eight picture frames which he put at, his eyes popping happily excited and dashing towards them) It's the discovery of the century! (Taking various looks of the pieces) Beautiful! Oh, yes! Genius!

Gorgious: (jumping up and down, happily) Did you see that? He loved them. At least some people know good art when they see it.

Vladimir: The work of some great unknown master. Mine for the taking! (his face puckered up and sneaky-like) Wait a minute, where's the artist? Why wasn't anyone here? Watching the paintings? (happily snooty) Oh, pooh. This place is deserted. I'll take just what I need for a showing. Besides, I owe it to the art world.

(In the Aliens' Living Room turned into an art museum for the banquet in Zakarov's honor along with various guests in dresses and suits.)

Man with Red Hat: Wonderful.

Woman with Blue Hair: Absolutely magnificent.

Man with Red Hair: Yes. Quite.

Vladimir: (in black-in-white with various guests) Well, the paintings reflect the classic struggle of the punishment and reward system of the industrious society and, blah, blah, blah. (Gorgious getting even angry when his face starts to shake, also his face in close-up) And of course, blue and redneck orange, and green and purple, blue and yellow, (his mouth in close-up) and the stocking access are up to 3.0%, blah, blah, blah. (Gorgious' angry eyes' bloodshot lines appears).

Man with Red Hat: (holding a glass of blue champagne) A toast, to the new art genius of the era.

Various Guests: (holding toasts) Genius. What a genius! Zakarov, you're a genius!

Gorgious: Ahh! (Screaming (with his tooth popping out and eyes closed) while Stereo, Etno and Bud, watching in shock) He's taking credit from my work! (pointing his finger to the T.V.) That fake is getting all the glory! Well, I have to hide it in poverty and obscurity. (raising his finger) I'm expose that phony for the fool he is! (snaps his thumb) Of, course! (dashing towards Candy, making chili in the oven, with his feet screeching, happily surprised) Candy, friend! (Jumping up and down like a child, happily) Be a pal and give me a part of your spiciest chili.

Candy: (With Gorgious shaking his head, yes) You mean my "The New Chin-Fireball Chili 67"?

Gorgious: Yeah! Give it here!

Candy: Okay, but remember, I'm not responsible for advert side effects. (with Gorgious shaking his head, no, happily dashing) Don't put your eye out!

Gorgious: (cooking the chili to feed it to the parrot, Polly) Open up! Gorgious has a treat for you! (Polly squawks and he feeds the chili to him until, his face turns pale white and flames came out of his mouth. He (humming) was using the canvas to the chili-fed parrot with his belly rumbling, eyes closed and squeezing the chili to get it into the canvas and Polly turns his face back to normal.) Magnificent! They'll hate it! He'll be ruined!

(Back in the banquet, these various guests shows Gorgious' painting, splattered by the chili which the parrot ate.)

Man with Red Hair: Perhaps, the only, truly, greater painting of the last decade.

Woman with White Hair: Of the last century, you mean? (her cheeks puffed up after she ate a donut)

Man with Yellow Hair: How do you create such original masterpieces, Zakarov?

Vladimir: So, I really feel my work. It wells up in my very being until I feel like, like, like... (starting to say, a genius, with his right eye (with a red and green double target) and his fingers clutching up, madly.) Well, you wouldn't understand. It's too intense. (rolling his eyes up)

Man with Red Hair: Yes, you can put words on a greater genius. (from calm to excited, with money) But too can put a price on it!

(The crowd at the banquet were cheering, excitedly for this splendid artwork (which Gorgious made) throwing some money.)

Gorgious: (sadly) I can't believe it.

Etno: (with a pipe with bubbles) Gorgious, you know. Life is not always what you wanted to be.

Gorgious: (with tears in his eyes, sadly emotional) Yes, but... (Etno puts his hand on Gorgious' head.)'s so unfair! (crying)

Etno: Yes, Gorgious, it is, but listen. (Breaking the fourth wall to make the whole audience and the kids to listen to him, getting closer to them (the camera).) And you kids better listen up to. Sometimes, you just have to keep fighting for what you need. And most importantly, never give up.

Gorgious: (happily) Yes! I will, Etno! I'll finish this thing, if it takes this all episode! (kissing Etno's lips) I got work to do. (dashing into his art studio, quickly)

(With the door creaks and his eyes were peeking, he looks into the Living Room filled with his artwork which he made for yesterday's banquet. And also, he, sneakingly uses a white baseball club with a nail and destroys some of its artwork (off-background along with the gang watching him).)

Etno: What is he doing?

Gorgious: Hee, hee, hee. (cackles slyly and walks back into the Loft, slyly) Just you watch this. (with the camera going left)

(Back again in the banquet, various guests show some artwork which Gorgious had also destroyed and painted from the past, gasping and walking surprisingly.)

Man with Red Hair: Can't wait to see this.

Woman with Blue Hair: Yes, yes! Huh? Yes.

Man with Red Hat: I love it! Oh. Ah. This is truly magnificent.

Woman with White Hair: Oh, it's marvelous. It's the best work.

(along with various guests speaking)

Gorgious: They... they liked it. I destroyed it and they still liked it! (his eyes popping and his face puckering)

Vladimir: Yes, this show, it, it represents my... (picking his beard hair) inner desire to express my, my...

Woman with Blue Hair: It's so destructive.

Vladimir: Yes! Destructive! This show is all about, destructiveness!

Judge: (holding the golden paintbrush and art palette award to Zakarov with the drum roll and cymbal crash) The Greatest Genius on Earth Award!

Gorgious: (angrily with his fist shaking and his eyes bloodshot) I'll show them the great genius! (Back in his art studio, he then now creates his own final masterpiece, using his paintbrush and his palette, smiling with his grin.) My final masterpiece!

(He dashes into the Living Room and after Vladimir wakes up, he now uses his bat with a nail to beat and defeat him by using some rope and a gag in his mouth (off-background.) Hmm!

SMTV Chorus: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaaa!

(When Gorgious gets into the SMTV, changing into various forms such as a gold Aztec-like sculpture, a Picasso-like robot, and a toilet, he now changes as a art seller, dashing and talking to the short, Arabian man.)

Art Seller Gorgious: Good morning, sir. May I help you?

Arabian Man: Yes, I'm looking for something for my camel, Gertrude.

Art Seller Gorgious: (picking up his hat and dashing) Come with me. I have just a thing. (showing the short man his final masterpiece which he had made minutes ago, along with Vladimir tied up and gagged (muffled) in a picture frame.) Voila.

Arabian Man: Wow, that's really something! Eh, what is it?

Art Seller Gorgious: (off-background) I call it, Self-Portrait of a Charlatan.

Arabian Man: (with his suitcase of money) Sold! Here's the money. Send it home to Gertrude immediately. (walks off)

Art Seller Gorgious: (bowing down, happily) Of course, dear sir. You really do make a good painting after all, Zak.

(The episode ends and fades out in a black circle.)